Three steps to making the RIGHT decision when you’re angry

[If you’d rather have me read this to you, click here!]

It’s happened again.

After hiring a new entry-level person to your team a couple of months ago, another week’s gone by when she hasn’t worked on her main task - you know, the one you hired her specifically to do.

You’ve spent time walking her through your best practices for this project, have reminded her of WHY it’s so important to the company (and to her job), and you have an open-door policy for any questions she may have about it, which she hasn’t taken you up on.

So when you noticed that she spent DAYS this week organizing your team’s Dropbox folders instead of working on this task, you nearly lost it.

Have you ever noticed that during these freak-out moments, your mind spins out of control, makes a lot of assumptions about what’s going on, and then immediately comes up with a plan to try and PROTECT you?

Think back to the last time you felt anxious, angry or helpless. Chances are that you acted from a place of FEAR in an attempt to try and PREVENT something unpleasant from happening.

Instead of making a decision in the heat of the moment that you’ll later regret, here are the
three steps to handling this situation in a way that you’ll be proud of.

1 - Step back. As tempting as it is to tell this person how you REALLY feel, and as justified as it may seem in the moment, it’s not the best idea.

If you need to say something immediately, let them know that you’d like to discuss this later and maybe schedule a time to do so.

2 - Find joy. I know you’re upset. But you need to shift your mindset from a place of anger or fear to one of peace and objectivity.

Clearing these heavy emotions shifts your perspective to one that’s focused on the best long-term solution. You’ll be MUCH happier with the results, potentially save face and strengthen your reputation as a leader.

Your assignment? Do something you love to bring yourself back into balance.

(What? You’re allowed to do something fun in this moment? YES, you are!)

Go for a run. Play with your dog. Take a hot bath. Do whatever will let you release some of this pressure.

3 - Reconsider. Once you’re no longer feeling triggered, the way to handle this will become clear.

Think about…

:: What got you so worked up about this situation?

:: Why is that important?

:: What is the ideal outcome?

:: How can you express this in a clear and respectful way?

The next time you feel like boiling over or burying yourself under a thick comforter,
step back + find joy + reconsider.

Here’s to more harmony and better decisions!